Leave a Legacy

As I was reading my Bible this morning... I decided that I wanted part of this blog to be a place where we pass on ideas that we have along the way. It may be something that we have done in the past in our own family. It may be something new that we are implementing at this stage in our life. It may be something that we have read or heard that we think is a good idea. Regardless, maybe we can be consistent to share our tips along the way. Take what you want and apply it how you can.

Remember, nothing is new under the sun. So, use it - tweak it - pass it on.

For today, I want to share with you what I am presently doing for our granddaughter (and plan to continue for the MANY more grandchildren that will come :).

I have a bible that is specifically for our precious little one. It is a wide margin bible. As I read through it during quiet times, I write prayers for her and notes to her in the margin. My plan is to give it to her on her 16th birthday. As other grandbabies come, I will get a specific bible for them, and do the same. Alternating which one I use for my devotions, and which ones I take to church, or to special events. I hope to have a book shelf full of bibles for my children's children.

I have already requested one for this Christmas for the little one that is on the way.

Legacy... a spiritual legacy... I want to leave one...



Blessings,
DeeDee

Was this Time-Out???

It is the end of the week and here is my take on last week. Starting with the first day.

Day number one of planning lasted a short time. We could not agree on where to start, much less how to procede. So at DeeDee's suggestion, we did go to seperate rooms and prepare.

She got the living room with the couch and the A/C. I got the back porch with the metal chair.
(I just thought...was I put in time-out and did not catch on until just now???)

But the Lord used our time and our places to point us in the same direction.

That is the way He works. He uses His own time and puts us in the right place to bring us to the right frame of heart, mind and spirit.

As I have read elsewhere, it takes a quiet place, a quiet time and a quiet heart to hear Him and to sense His leading.

Now, we are both going His way in our planning. Which, coincidentally, is closer to the way DeeDee was headed than me. But as long as it is ultimately His way that is all that matters.

Struggling but Thriving...
Hal

Day Two of our Planning

It is amazing the difference between one day and the next.

The second day of planning was how it is supposed to be. We both had ideas, and were able to communicate and put it down on paper. No tension. No fear of fussing. No misinterpreting what the other was saying.

So, as in life…the very one who you want to “throw away” today…is the very one who you adore so much the next day. Call it hormones, call it moods, call it stresses of life, call it FLESH… whatever. We are two different people. But when we take some time and get with our Savior and allow Him to direct our days/paths/plans, He brings peace.

Would you agree with me that our biggest problems could be resolved easily and quickly, if we would just spend time with our Savior first? Put off the “old man”, the flesh, the ME… and “put on” Christ.

This is nothing new for us. Yet, we still will have days like that first day of planning. Will we ever learn? Hopefully. I know this retreat’s planning time has already been much better than last time.

Last time (which by the way – was a LONG time ago) I really wondered if our marriage would survive the marriage retreat. I think we finally just decided that time to just do our own thing in our own sessions. Then in our joint sessions, Hal would just lead it by himself.

So, I guess we are learning. We have grown. We know more about warfare. We know when to get away from the planning and to pray and study (alone).

Life is a journey. I want to enjoy the ride. I want to enjoy the differences. I CHOOSE to do so. A conscience choice. It is worth it. Trust me.

Thriving today,
DeeDee

Enjoy the Differences

Men and women are created different. That is really a good thing.

But sometimes, it makes the daily life a little less than desirable. Sometimes it is just HARD.

We have been away – and trying to plan a couple’s retreat.

Do you know how hard that is? Either one of us would have had no problem planning a conference/retreat on our own. But when we try to come together and make plans… well, we even have a hard time just communicating. The first day, we finally decided to just separate and read and do a little planning on our own and PRAY. Then we would get back together the next day, with a few ideas and see if they would mesh together somehow. We did not fuss. We just could not communicate. We both were on edge. There was tension. WARFARE.

Oh, Jesus, help us.

And He did. Oh, He is the faithful One.

More about our planning later…But for today, if it is hard for a married couple to take some time and plan four sessions together for a retreat coming in four months, then how much harder is it for a couple to survive the stresses of daily life?

Life really can be hard. Life is busy. We get distracted. We are different and we handle ALL of life in a different way. Usually neither are wrong. Just different. The sooner we realize that and appreciate those differences, the sooner that there will be peace in the relationship. Sometimes, we really do just need to get alone and do our own study/soul searching, and later come back to discuss what we’ve learned. It really can be easier to face the conflict/dilemma/decision after we have had our own time in the Word and with our Savior.

Now, I am not talking about avoidance – just a change in perspective. We must remember we are on the same team. Neither of us is the enemy. Keep that in mind. We are working for the same goal – and that is the good of our lives together and our particular family. (or maybe the retreat that we are trying to plan)

Each just needs to focus on their part. And then appreciate the differences. It really is a good thing. I like to call it Holy Sandpaper. That will be a topic later…

Completely different
and surviving…
DeeDee

Ready to get started back on track

So, the plan is to get things started back on track the first week of September.

Now, what I mean is that Hal and I are planning some intensive study time that first week. We have several ideas floating in our heads and we are going to try to get them TOGETHER and on paper. Now, if you know anything at all about us - you know that our planning and preparation styles are COMPLETE OPPOSITES.

This should be fun!

Regardless of how our planning/studying/preparing time goes.... we hope to have this blog working for and with us again by September 8th.

Surviving and thriving,
Hal and DeeDee

Monday Night Chats Temporarily Discontinued

Due to the busy schedule for the months of June and July.... We will not plan on having Monday night chat night.

We are still going to try to keep some posts going. But that in itself has been a struggle (as you can tell) for the last couple of weeks.

We want to be a service for families. We want to survive and thrive in this world... and we want you and your family to not only survive but to also THRIVE.

Marriage/Parenting/Christian Living is work.. it is commitment... it can sometimes be HARD. But is it definitely worth all the effort. Keep your eyes on Jesus. He is the author and finisher of our faith! Keep Him at the center of your home... your marriage... your family... your time.

So your assignment for the summer months... keep up the Friday Family Fun...
Read a good book on the home.
Maybe even read a good book together.
Share with us what you are reading to encourage each other.
Remember that Love is "meeting needs".... so Love on the precious family that God has given you!

Surviving and (today we are ) Thriving!
Hal and DeeDee

Wives - Striving for Excellence (part 2)

The Monday night chat is on for tonight, June 2, 2008. It has been a while...

We will once again be looking at the wife (from Proverbs 31). We will start with verse 20. So... get your bibles out... and come and let's discuss this passage.

Husbands are welcome too... we would appreciate your input.

Proverbs 31:20-31

(20) She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
(21) She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
)22) She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
(23) Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
(24) She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
(25) Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
(26) She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
(27) She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
(28) Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
(29) "Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
(30) Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
(31) Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Should be some good discussion time...

Look forward to meeting with you. (8:00 p.m. CST)

Love and Blessings,

DeeDee

Happy Memorial Day! No Chat Tonight

My... what a WONDERFUL weekend we have had with our family all together! It has been a whirlwind... but OH so good. I will blog more about it later :)

So....for today.. enjoy the time off... enjoy your family. NO CHAT TONIGHT!

We will try to be back on schedule next week.

Love to you all!
Not only surviving... but THRIVING today!
Blessings!

The Chat is ON for Tonight

So............
The topic will be Hal's topic from his post last week. Ladies, you will benefit (or enjoy) the chat with us... but also would be a good time to see if you can get your husbands to join.

See you at 8:00 (CST) tonight!

Chat Tonight - CANCELLED

Sorry we have to cancel the chat tonight...

Too much to do before Jonathan comes home :)

We will try to be back on track for next week.

Blessings,

Hal and DeeDee

Wednesday Words for Wives # 1

Words for Today

Our Most Important Ministry

I will start with a quote from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace:


God's will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband. (Genesis 2:18). After a wife's own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife -- an excellent wife.

So today, ladies... May 7th, 2008... is that true of you? Is it true of me? Our most important ministry is to our husbands? Or does he get "left-overs" from us most of the time... or ALL of the time?

God wants us to be godly wives. We have instructions. We have scriptures. We are blessed to live in the time when we have many good Godly books - filled with encouragement and instruction.

But I must stress to you... it is a life-time pursuit... well worth it... but definately a pursuit.

So this week... I want you to examine yourself and your time and see what is your most important ministry? What is your first focus? I'm not talking about our relationship with the Lord.. I will talk about that on another week. But our EARTHLY focus?

Love your husbands. Focus on him. Ask God to help you to make your husband your priority.

(And go ahead and start planning ahead of time for this Friday. - Family fun. - Sometimes it can be a date with just the two of you. And then do something fun with the children on Saturday.) Let the creative juices flow!

Marriage is meant to be enjoyed.- not merely endured. It is a gift from God.

Tuesday Tips for Husbands # 1

I've had a book on my shelf (Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson) for a long time but I have never spent much time on it. So as DeeDee and I were talking about this blog and this subject, I thought now would be a good time to bring it out.

I am going to use it as a guide for some discussions starters. Possibly on Monday night chats (for husbands) too.

Here are a few brief thoughts:

• If you are a believer (a Christian) then your relationship with God is that of a covenant. Paul teaches us that we ought to think of our marriages as a picture of the marriage of Christ to the church. When we come to know Christ, we leave all the old behind and our life becomes new. So in the marriage -- we leave our father and mother and cleave to our spouse. This is a covenantal relationship. That is a long discussion in itself since a covenant is a binding arrangement.

• Secondly, the foundation for a Godly married life is the same foundation for all Godly living - in everything we are to seek the glory of God. And He has chosen marriage as one of the best instruments throught which fallen man may glorify Him.

These two items should give us all food for thought.

We will talk about it next Monday night at 8:00 p.m. (CST)

--Hal

Chat tonight

So... we have just finished chatting again.

Here is the roll call:

• DeeDee
• exhausted
• punkin
• late
• bubba
• anonymous

We spent time looking at the traits of the Excellent Wife - we only had time to go over verses 10-19. We will get to the other verses next time.

Had some "ouch" moments... but don't we always when we begin to study the Word? When our desire is to be the wife/husband/person that God wants us to be... When we allow the fire of the Holy Spirit to burn in our life... the dross will come to the top! OUCH!

So let's be diligent to act on what the Spirit of the Living God spoke to us individually about.

I will go ahead and confess.... I have been convicted of "rising early". But since my children have all grown - and gone, and since my wonderful husband fixes breakfast for me :)...I really feel as if God is prompting me to just get up and let HIM feed me some spiritual food. He wants to meet with me. Those thoughts take me back to this post. This prayer. That is my prayer tonight.

Ok... 'fess up......

What are you going to work on?

Wives - Let's Strive for Excellence

Tonight as we meet together for our Monday Meeting Chat time... The topic will be for wives.

Our Scripture will come from Proverbs 31 (wouldn't you know?)

I will print it here - and if you have time today - try to read over it - and be ready for some good discussion. Of course - we will not be covering it all tonight. I will be breaking it down for discussion time and also for my blog later this week. For tonight - We will be starting with the Christian wife's Top Two priorities. . .

(10) An excellent wife who can find?

She is far more precious than jewels.

(11) The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.

(12) She does him good, and not harm,

all the days of her life.

(13) She seeks wool and flax,

and works with willing hands.

(14) She is like the ships of the merchant;

she brings her food from afar.

(15) She rises while it is yet night

and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.

(16) She considers a field and buys it;

with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

(17) She dresses herself with strength

and makes her arms strong.

(18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

Her lamp does not go out at night.

(19) She puts her hands to the distaff,

and her hands hold the spindle.

(20) She opens her hand to the poor

and reaches out her hands to the needy.

(21) She is not afraid of snow for her household,

for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

)22) She makes bed coverings for herself;

her clothing is fine linen and purple.

(23) Her husband is known in the gates

when he sits among the elders of the land.

(24) She makes linen garments and sells them;

she delivers sashes to the merchant.

(25) Strength and dignity are her clothing,

and she laughs at the time to come.

(26) She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

(27) She looks well to the ways of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

(28) Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

(29) "Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all."

(30) Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

(31) Give her of the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the gates.

Join with us tonight at 8:00 p.m. (CST)

Invite others to join you. The more- the merrier :)

Love, DeeDee (and Hal)

Hoping to Help - in Surviving and Thriving!

(Notice the blog below - to see the plan/schedule for chats and blogs)

Proposed Schedule

Ok... I really have been working on the plan for this blog and for the chat nights.

Maybe a little structure and schedule will help us all.

For the Chat Nights - I have posted the schedule on the side bar for the Month of May. I will update each month.


For the Blog - This is what I hope to be able to keep going:

• Monday Meetings - somewhat of an introduction for the chat topic for that night.

• Tuesday Tips for Husbands - Hopefully Hal will be able to give us a blog on most weeks. But this will also be a time for the wives to comment and respond from their perspective.

• Wednesday Words for the Wives - I plan to have a blog with some encouragement/instruction for us ladies. But we will welcome some comments and response from the husbands' perspectives. (Also - sometimes I will throw in a Wordless Wednesday and/or a Word-filled Wednesday)

• Thankful Thursdays - We will join other bloggers with our list of things that we are thankful for. But on this particular blog we will be focusing on the home - the family - the children - etc.

• Friday Family Fun - Plan some fun for your family. Enjoy the time with them. Share the plans so that we all can be encouragement for each other. Sometimes we just a need a fresh idea.

Next Week - I will add this to the side bar - for future reference.

Tell me what you think - will this work?

We want to be encouragement for you. The world is fighting for your home. We want to offer some help. We want your home/your family - not only to survive - but also to THRIVE.

Love to you all!

Busy Busy Busy

Sometimes life just gets too busy to breathe.... and certainly no time to blog. :)

But I want to take just a quick minute to encourage you to have some FRIDAY FAMILY FUN! Then.... post a reply so we can all be encouraged by your plans.

Hal and I are going to have some fun, food and sweet fellowship with MaMaw, Danny, Dena, and maybe Paul, Susie and Matthew too. Fun Fun Fun. We all have such a good time together - and MaMaw is cooking!!! I am going to try and go by to steal Aubrey away for the evening too, since Jen and Andy cannot come.

Family is important. Time with family is needed. This is part of our extended family - and we are excited!

Then tomorrow - we have our precious Aubrey's two year old birthday party. She is a constant reminder to us of how fast time flies!

So... let that be encouragement to you to spend quality and quantity time with the precious family that God has blessed you with. Make the most of each day knowing that when you lay down your head tonight - May 2, 2008 is gone. Today will be over.

And one more thought..... even when life is just too busy....
Remember that you can do EVERYTHING today that God wants you to do. If you have too much on your plate... God did not put it there. Spend some time with your Savior and let Him help you set the agenda.

OK...... so share the plans for the evening with us......................
Love to you all!

Q and A - Chat Tonight

We may be CRAZY.... but last week, we decided that we would have a "Q and A" this week on the chat.

So.... if you need to sign in anonymously.... in order to ask your questions... then go ahead.

Hope to meet with you tonight at 8:00.

Blessings

The Company that We Keep

Tonight the chat topic is on "The Company that we Keep". So... join us as we discuss people that God has brought into our lives and how they have encouraged us in our walk with the Lord. But also, we can discuss how maybe a bad choice of company... hurt us (NO names of course). The idea goes back to the post from my personal blog... Where will you be in five years? A good indication comes from the books that you read AND THE COMPANY THAT YOU KEEP.

But let me add also... be thinking about the company that you are to those in your life. Jonathan talked about this in his blog. It made me think. Am I "IRON THAT SHARPENS IRON"?

Let's talk about it...

See you tonight at 8:00.

Chatting # 2

Well... tonight there were 8 of us together (if you can count Lee and Matt :) We had a good time talking about books that we have read and that have affected our lives. An hour sure goes by fast. :) I have added a list of recommeded books on the side-bar. I will add more later. And there are so many... please let me know if you read one that you think I need to add to the list.

Blessings to you all.

On another note...

For those who are prayer warriors... there are some families who have BIG issues going on right now. Please intercede for them. God knows the needs.

Monday Night Chat (04/14/2008)

We will be chatting again tonight. - 8:00 p.m. (CST) Click on the link at the top of the right column. You can sign in with your name... or if you would rather be annonymous - that is fine too. Last week someone signed as "contented" and chatted with us. That is certainly ok. Just come and let's share together.

This week Hal picked the topic. He is referring back to a post that I wrote on March 2nd on my personal blog. You can read it here. We will begin by talking about different books that we have read that have influenced our lives. Maybe even specific ones on the home. We will try and have somewhat of an agenda. :-)

Look forward to chatting with you.

Blessings,
DeeDee

Laughter Does Good Like Medicine

Make sure you watch the second boy!

And now.... plan some family fun and post your plans for us all to share!

Blessings,

DeeDee

First Chat Night

So..... we just finished the first chat night. I am so excited! There were five of us there, and we were learning about chatting together. I am looking forward to next week already!

We both have ideas going through our minds about opposites, so we hope to post them later this week.

But for tonight, I just want you to Thank the Lord for your spouse and the differences that you have. Hal has always said that if you were just alike - one of you would be unnecessary! Think about it.

More to come!
~dd

Opposites Attract

Have you ever noticed how many times couples will talk about how opposite they are? It is true, opposites attact. Just like the opposites ends of a magnet. But often the very thing that attacts you to your spouse in the beginning of the relationship - will be the first REAL irritation that you have to deal with. It will be the very thing that causes (or starts) the biggest fusses. Now.... how do we deal with it? That is the discussion this week.

How are you different? I will give some examples. Usually one is hot nature and the other will be cold natured. There will be the night owl and the morning person. One will be an introvert and the other will be an extravert. One will be a neat freak and the other will be messy. One will have the gift of hospitality and love having a crowd over - while the other just endures it. Etc., etc., etc. You get the idea. Share some with us - and how you have worked it out in your marriage.

We really are going to try and get on the chat tonight at 8:00 (CST). Not sure if Hal's computer will let him yet. But going to see.... would love for you to join us (even for part of the time). Let's talk.

Hope to see you tonight... and there will be more post this week on opposites.
Blessings,
DeeDee

Friday Family Fun # 1

I am really thanking God that it is Friday. And here is your first assignment:

Plan some family fun!

But I also want to ask you to post a comment and share what your plans are for Friday Fun. Someone may need a creative idea.

Here are a few to get you started:

• Go out to eat - sit across from your spouse - and TALK
• Take the children with you and enjoy the time with them (even if it means playing in the indoor playground at McDonalds)
• Meet with some friends - to go out to eat - or even invite them to your home
• Go to a movie (if you can find a decent one - Horton hears a Who - maybe?)
• Go bowling with a group (take the kids too and get the bumpers if needed)
• Go to a sporting event
• Go to the park

So.... what are our plans tonight? -- We are going to meet some precious friends and go out to eat. Good food - Good fellowship. I can hardly wait!

Would you comment and share your plans? We need to hear from you. Also... be thinking ahead for next week. Let's celebrate our families. Let's Thank God that it is Friday - because it is a good time to plan some family fun!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Today...we are thriving.

DeeDee

More Ideas...

Ok... since I set this up last week... it has been extremely busy. I am already thinking that maybe we will just try to have a topic for the week. And then we will both post during the week concerning the topic from our (very) different perspectives.

I also need to know if anyone that is reading is interested in having a chat. I had originally thought maybe on Tuesday nights... but have already found that I need to to change that to Monday. Will you be able to - or even want to- chat with Hal and me on Monday nights at 8:00? (CST) Let us know. Also, you may want to just try and get on the chat. For some reason...Hal's computer will not let him. That may be a problem, huh?

Like I said in the first blog... we are still in the developing stages. Still praying. Still wanting some imput from you. You can either comment or can email me with your ideas/suggestions.

Home - where the heart is.
But sometimes the heart hurts.
Sometimes the heart is tired.
Sometimes.... you fill in the blank...


We want to help.

A New Beginning

So...........

Here we go.

Another blog.

Still in the developing stages.

I will post the plan (when I know for sure what it is!)

I think we will have certain topics for certain days.

I think we both will post - and sign our post. For your info - so you can know who is blogging the particular information/ story/ encouragement/ instruction/ question/ experience.

But for now... it has taken me so long to get it set up this far... I am exhausted... need to go to bed... will be back tomorrow.

Not only surviving... but today we are thriving :)

~dd (but Hal gave his blessing)